Barbara J. Katzenberg, Attorney at Law
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Time plays a key role in life after divorce

Marriage isn't only about the honeymoon. After the big day, there are many challenges a couple here in Worcester, Massachusetts, has to face. The children, work, finances and the in-laws are among those issues that married couples fight about during their marriage. While some grow stronger from these difficulties, many choose to resolve their differences through mediation or the divorce process.

Even though divorce is a good way to start fresh, it can also have its unique set of difficulties. Divorce mediation professionals always point out that all too often, emotional and psychological trauma follow those who go through it. The realization that a beautiful marriage can end in heartbreak is often tough to face and accept.

Experts stated recently in an article that time plays a key role in life after the marriage ends. Given that there is a huge loss, they advise against jumping right into a new relationship and instead focusing on self-improvements that will benefit future relationships.

Surprisingly, those experts say that it takes about two years to move on from the emotional and psychological trauma of a breakup, because the breakup takes so much structure away from those who went through it. This also includes the person's social and support circles. The people whom the couple used to hang out with may take sides and the places where the couple used to go may no longer be the best places to go.

Allowing time to heal the wounds and concentrate on self-improvements is the best course of action. The experts also stated that it is important for the people to establish their own identity and independence before anything else. Experts also encourage people to avoid any comparison with others, as well as avoiding taking on big, drastic and dramatic changes immediately after the legalities are finalized.

Like many things in life, there is always an end. Sadly, even marriage can go through this end phase. Those people who are going through it may look at a divorce as an opportunity to begin a new adventure.

Source: Wall Street Journal," After Divorce or Job Loss Comes the Good Identity Crisis," Elizabeth Bernstein, July 30, 2013

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